The first law of thermodynamics is summarised thus; “energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but can be transformed from one form to another”
I've been a little off lately. Can't put my finger on it but i know something's a little off. A good chunk of that is tied to the emotional and financial strain of IF. After my cancelled cycle in November, I got a partial refund which I put in a savings account. Our annual bonuses also went into same account. By March, I felt good about my coming ivf cycle because I had 90% of the required fees in my savings account and close to zero balance on my cards. Fast forward to today. Savings account is zeroed and I'm carrying a huge balance and facing the possibility of another IVF cycle in June/July. I've calculated and recalculated and it's just not adding up. Yes I'm a little down and off and freaked out.
I was having a cuddly moment with DH this evening and I thought; all we need is a baby to make all this financial and emotional blues disappear. Then I remembered the first law of thermodynamics can be applied to life. I realised that what I spend on an IVF cycle is what my sis pays in private school pre-k fees for her baby. That financial requirement will never go away but it can be transformed from one need to another. What I'm spending on IF solutions today, I will eventually spend on diapers, formula and education for my kids tomorrow. No a baby will not solve my financial dilemma. I need to just get it together and think smarter not harder. Make smarter decisions; and remember that I can't do this on my own. Unless the Lord builds a house, their labour is in vain that build it. Anybody can work hard but it's God that gives the blessing of working smart and enjoying this life regardless of the issues demanding my emotional and financial attention.
Another abstract grace-post; another product of blogging at 1am in the morning. Happy Tuesday.
I've been a little off lately. Can't put my finger on it but i know something's a little off. A good chunk of that is tied to the emotional and financial strain of IF. After my cancelled cycle in November, I got a partial refund which I put in a savings account. Our annual bonuses also went into same account. By March, I felt good about my coming ivf cycle because I had 90% of the required fees in my savings account and close to zero balance on my cards. Fast forward to today. Savings account is zeroed and I'm carrying a huge balance and facing the possibility of another IVF cycle in June/July. I've calculated and recalculated and it's just not adding up. Yes I'm a little down and off and freaked out.
I was having a cuddly moment with DH this evening and I thought; all we need is a baby to make all this financial and emotional blues disappear. Then I remembered the first law of thermodynamics can be applied to life. I realised that what I spend on an IVF cycle is what my sis pays in private school pre-k fees for her baby. That financial requirement will never go away but it can be transformed from one need to another. What I'm spending on IF solutions today, I will eventually spend on diapers, formula and education for my kids tomorrow. No a baby will not solve my financial dilemma. I need to just get it together and think smarter not harder. Make smarter decisions; and remember that I can't do this on my own. Unless the Lord builds a house, their labour is in vain that build it. Anybody can work hard but it's God that gives the blessing of working smart and enjoying this life regardless of the issues demanding my emotional and financial attention.
Another abstract grace-post; another product of blogging at 1am in the morning. Happy Tuesday.
